Taking a Leap of Faith

Game changing moments. Turning points. Epiphanies. Everyone has them. I’ve had quite a few in my life, but I have to say the one that’s made the most difference for me in the last twenty years was accepting a job at FatWallet.

Despite what most people might think, it wasn’t an easy decision. You see, I’ve been a good friend to the person who hired me for a very long time - over 25 years at this point. We’re not acquaintances; we’re the I-might-help-you-bury-a-body type of friends. Working in an employee-boss relationship could have changed our friendship considerably for the worse. Thankfully, that did not happen.

At the time, I was working for a non-profit. My salary was tiny. Tim was able to offer a salary that was a third more than I was making. However, FatWallet was not offering health insurance or a retirement plan. I would be betting on a company that was just gaining some momentum, trading security for opportunity. The thought of having enough money to stop scraping by, paycheck to paycheck, was appealing, but the opportunities that were possible with a start-up company were worth far more, in my consideration.

I had recently obtained a Bachelor’s degree in business administration. I knew I wanted - actually, I needed - a job that could challenge me, pull me in directions I’ve never been pulled, yet utilize things I’d absorbed throughout the years. Things that didn’t necessarily have anything to do with the degree I’d just earned. Tim needed someone to handle the nuts and bolts of running a company: organizing, filing, making sure people were paid, etc. It was something I knew I could do, and I hoped it would grow.

I also yearned for a place that was different from anything I had yet to experience. I don’t think I could have told you then what I was looking for, but today I know: I wanted a culture of accountability laced with kindness. I wanted to work for a company that embraced the philosophy of “Treat others the way you would want to be treated.”

I wouldn’t say that Human Resources would have been my first choice in careers; I don’t believe it would have been in my top 10. Over the years, I’ve learned, stretched, and gained experience. I’m comfortable in the role, and I do have a passion for it: a passion gained by seeing what companies are like when HR is handled poorly.

FatWallet has given me choices in life that I didn’t have before. I earned these choices by proving myself, proving my worth. I no longer worry about struggling paycheck-to-paycheck. I have confidence in myself and my abilities.

My job has changed many times in the past eight years. I’ve handled and supervised customer service, HR, payroll, accounting, and facilities. In the process, I’ve assembled furniture, cleaned restrooms, answered phones, researched, created processes, scrapped processes, implemented benefits, supervised, hired, fired, talked about company strategy and talked about company game days. Every day has held something different, and I’ve found I fit here. Perhaps this is because I’ve helped create the culture; perhaps it is because I’ve grown up a bit. Whatever it is, I know that my life changed for the better the day I took a leap of faith, accepted Tim’s job offer and embraced FatWallet as my home away from home. 

WiFi at the Millenium Knickerbocker Hotel

Monday evening, I drove into to Chicago. On Tuesday, I attended the Great Place to Work Institute's Best Practices Forum. The seminar was pretty interesting, with a good deal of information on what other companies do to create great working environments. That's not what I want to write about, however.

After I checked into the hotel, I tried accessing the internet. I had paid for a wireless connection, but I couldn't for the life of me connect. I made sure I followed all the written directions, then I called the front desk to ask if there was a trick I was missing. The front desk clerk asked me to hold on, and the next thing I knew I was talking to a tech support rep somewhere else in the country. They tracked the problem down to non-functioning routers, but were unable to fix the issue.

The next morning as I was reviewing my bill, I noticed they had deleted the charge for the wireless, but they added a charge for a long distance phone call. Apparently when the front desk clerk transferred me - without asking me first - she added the charge to my account.

Unbelievable. They couldn't provide me with the service for which I paid, I ask for help, and they charge me for the help.

Another example of less-than-stellar customer service.

After a quick trip to the front desk, I had the additional charge removed.

How Is Math Taught Today?

On my way home from a seminar today, I stopped into the grocery store to pick up supplies for stir-fry. The elderly lady in front of me in the checkout line bought a container of cookies that totaled $3.03 with tax. She handed the young cashier a $20 bill and three pennies.

The cashier gave her $17.97 in change.

The lady tried to give the coins back, but the cashier couldn't understand. The supervisor standing at the end of the counter helping to bag the groceries didn't understand either. The lady gave up and took the extra money.

I admit, I thought to myself when I saw the money being exchanged that I rarely see cash as a form of payment anymore. Is this an indication of how little cash is used now? Did the cashier not know what to do because she rarely handles cash? Even so, this was an easy math problem........

My Hair Is Returning!

My hair is growing back, much faster than I expected. It's mostly gray fuzz, but I have hair again!

The worst part about hair loss following chemotherapy is losing your eyelashes, in my opinion. My eyes watered all the time! I felt like I constantly needed to explain that I wasn't crying - I truly did have dust or something in my eyes.

I'm holding on to my scarves and hats for now. This summer has been so hot and humid that I've been forgoing wearing any, but I'm guessing that's going to change in another month. I hope that when I do decide I'm done with the hats and scarves, I'm able to find somewhere to donate them.

Mod Mod Mona Swap

I'm Saying No to Southwest Airlines.

I had a less-than-satisfactory experience flying Southwest Airlines in June. I paid a premium price to receive expedited check-in, along with first boarding privileges. I didn't receive the benefits, and felt like a fool for paying extra. When Southwest sent an email thanking me for the business and soliciting feedback, I decided to go ahead and tell them about my experience flying their airline. I also told them I felt that I had been ripped off, and I would go out of my way to avoid using their services again. This is the reply I received:

"Dear April,

I am so sorry that you feel you weren’t able to enjoy the benefits of your Business Select Fare on your June 26 flight.  As a valued Southwest Customer, your feedback is very important to us.  I am grateful for this opportunity to respond to your concerns and, of course, apologize.

While we, of course, offer preboarding to any Customer with specific seating needs or who need assistance boarding, out of respect for all of our Customers and to maintain the integrity of our boarding/seating system, these Customers should only have one additional person accompany them onboard the aircraft.

We do not have a policy that prohibits saving seats; however, when other Customers inquire about the availability of a particular saved seat, we would hope that our Customers would stick to the “Golden Rule.”  That said, we sincerely regret this particular Customer diminished the quality of your flight experience with us.

Furthermore, we regret that you feel you didn’t receive the highest level of Customer Service at the San Diego (SAN) ticket counter.  All Southwest Airlines Employees are expected to be friendly, helpful, and, above all else, courteous to all of our Customers who are kind enough to grant us their business. It is clear that you are disappointed with the Customer Service you received, and we are sorry that your experience was not indicative of the considerate and professional service that we strive to provide.

We appreciate your providing us with the details of your experience, and our Staff has ensured that your correspondence has been properly indexed and attributed to the appropriate areas. Additionally, your comments have been summarized and provided to our Senior Leaders for their review.

Your business means the world to us. It's our hope that you will continue flying Southwest Airlines for many years to come.

Sincerely,

Shawn, Southwest Airlines"

The customer with specific needs referred to in the note was a person in a wheelchair who needed preboarding privileges. I understand that need, and have no issue with that need. However, this particular customer put jackets, purses and bags across the first three full rows (on both sides of the cabin) for a total of twelve seats, saving them for her family - who boarded in the last group.

This response does not give me warm fuzzies, nor does it make me feel like they appreciate my business. Accordingly, they won't be getting any further business from me.

Photographers at Tourist Traps

It's a common experience: you walk into the entrance of the theme park and a camera is thrust into your face. "No charge! You only buy it if you like it!" Even worse are the cruises or other attractions where you're contained and you can't board until they take your photo. 

Unless you really want this token of remembrance, just say no, people! Say no, forcefully if needed, and walk by!

How many trees are killed with these printed photos people don't buy? How many chemicals are used in the processing?

I believe the model needs revamping. Digital photography is everywhere. Print-on-demand services proliferate. Change it up so the photos aren't printed until the patron says yes.

I'd be more likely to stand there and let you take the photo if I knew it wasn't going to be printed. Give me a chance to see a digital representation right after you take it, and once again after the attraction if I didn't buy it the first time I saw it, but please don't print it if I don't want it.

Ok, I'm done with my rant for the day.

Independence Day

Thanks to our long-time friend, Tom Farley, the meaning of this holiday has been weighing heavily on my mind for the last few days. He posted a statement on Facebook:   

"Here's a simple act of patriotism for this weekend: Don't call it 'the Fourth of July.' Call it 'Independence Day.' It's not just another day on the calendar, right?"

Yes, this is right. 

I'm thankful I'm an American citizen. I have a list of basic rights by simply being born in this country. Across the globe many people, especially women and children, cannot claim these same rights. All I did to claim these rights is to be lucky enough to be born in the correct geographic location. Millions of people have died to keep our country free and allow all born here to claim these basic human rights.

The least I can do is honor the holiday with its correct name, Independence Day.

How Much Is Enough?

I admit I don’t want it all.

Sometime in the last few decades, American society decided women should want to do everything under the sun: marry, raise children, have careers, participate in their children’s activities and take time for health and exercise, among other things. I’ve heard this idea referred to as being “Wonder Woman.” Didn’t anyone ever notice that Wonder Woman didn’t have children?

I’m 42 years old. I am unable to have children of my own. I have no wish to adopt. Somehow, this makes me either worth pity or selfish and in need of feeling guilt. I ask why?

I have a fantastic husband, a dream job with a great company, good friends and family nearby. We have a mortgage and car payments, but no credit card debt. We can travel when we want. We spoil our nieces and nephew. We donate to charity. I feel fulfilled. This life, to me, is the definition of “having it all.”

My husband and I tired of hearing “when are you going to start a family?” about fifteen years ago. We ordered special license plates for our cars that read NO KIDZ in response. That did stop a lot of people from asking but it didn’t stop the pity, nor did it stop the guilt trips.

“You don’t know what you’re missing until you see it through your child’s eyes.” Maybe. However, I know I’m not missing dirty diapers, crying tantrums, the colds that pass around the family non-stop or always being tired. I don’t doubt there are many rewards when you’re a parent. I see it with family and friends. I still don’t believe that being a parent is for me. I resent the implication that I’m less of a person or that I’m selfish because I don’t want children.

My husband is not pitied for being childless, nor is he made to feel guilty for choosing not to be a parent. All I ask for is the same respect for the choices I’ve made.

Ghosts of Employers Past

We’re all shaped, for good and bad, by our previous employment situations. I had a bad day yesterday - whiny, on edge, and a bit paranoid from the chemo pain - and it left me wondering what type of impact I myself have upon the employees I shepherd.

In the shower this morning, it occurred to me that the worst bosses I’ve had have been the ones that let their personal lives affect work in a hugely negative way. They may have been perfectly qualified to do the work they were hired to do, but their interpersonal skills when it came to employees sucked. For example, I once worked for someone who was very knowledgeable and carried a lot of clout. After working in the company for a month, I lost almost all respect for him. Why? He was having an affair. It was an expected part of our jobs to hide his affair from his wife and children. We were minions to do his bidding, not really considered equals. What he did on his own time was his own business, but the minute he made it mine - and made me compromise my own integrity as a condition of employment - he lost my respect. If any of us had been forcing him to compromise his integrity on the job, he would not have hesitated to fire us. I remember feeling horrible every time I lied to his wife or children, and yet I felt trapped because I needed that job.

Not every situation is black and white, and sometimes you have to choose the lesser evil. What came out of that situation, for me, was a resolve not to place anyone I manage in any situation that would compromise their standards of integrity. I have no way of knowing if I’ve fully succeeded; I sincerely hope I have. If I don’t, I hope I’m called out on it.

Where I've Been

I haven't posted much over the last few months, nor have I updated Twitter often. My life changed in a moment, as many lives have, with one statement, "You have cancer."

It was a twisted road just getting to the diagnosis. I can't help but wonder how many people are out there, undiagnosed, simply because they accept what their doctors tell them without question.

My journey began with a simple prescription refill. I take Zoloft on a daily basis for anxiety. I was running low on pills, and didn't relish going back to the doctor I'd seen in the last year. As anyone who has taken this type of medicine knows, quitting cold turkey is not an option. Long story short, I needed an ally in my health battles, not a judgmental authority figure. I did a bit of a search, and found a general practitioner who has a special interest in women's health issues. Bonus: her office is less than ten minutes from my house.

I went in for my first appointment with her at the beginning of September. I've been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) in the past. We discussed various treatment options, and she did the normal annual screenings. I was having some pretty severe menstrual problems, to the point where I told her I'd be happy to have a hysterectomy and be done. We both agreed it would be best for me to see a gynecologist. She set up a referral.

Now, a bit of background. I've dealt with severe menstrual problems for over a decade. I'll spare you all the details here, except to say I've seen several doctors, including a reproductive endocinologist. Each time, I was sent home with, "you're perfectly normal, aside from the PCOS." The only treatment options I was given made me ill, and when I expressed that, I was told to simply put up with it.

So I saw a gynecologist at a local clinic at the end of September. He did an exam, and prescribed norethindrone. When that failed, he set up a few more tests, including an endometrial biopsy. This is an in-office procedure that can be fairly routine - as long as you've had children or a procdure to dialate your cervix in the past. I had not. I was not instructed to take anything (such as ibuprofen) beforehand. It was an excruitiating experience, and he was not able to get the biopsy he needed. He scheduled a D&C for mid-October.

The D&C was routine. The pathology report came back stating, "endometrial hyperplasia without atypia." This means there were some abnormal cells, but nothing cancerous. After the D&C, my bleeding was so severe I had to have a blood transfusion on November 6th.

This doctor's recommended treatment for my condition was to insert the Mirena IUD. Once again, keep in mind I've never had children. All the research I've done on Mirena, and IUDs in general, do NOT recommend inserting them in women who have never had children. Further research on my part found research studies ongoing using the Mirena to treat PCOS. Ok, so at this point my feeling is that I'm becoming a guinea pig. I'm uncomfortable with the recommendation, frustrated that things have become so bad I needed a transfusion, and disillusioned in general. I started asking my colleagues for doctor recommendations.

I made an appointment with a new doctor for mid-November. It took him less than two minutes to tell me my uterus was enlarged about three times the size of normal. Because the previous doctor had not done a PAP smear, and it had been about eighteen months since my last one, he also took that sample.

The PAP came back abnormal. I had a colposcopy on December 3rd. During the procedure, he noticed some abnormal cells that concerned him, and decided to do an endometrial biopsy. This time, the procedure went without a problem. The colposcopy samples were benign, but the endometrial biopsy showed possible cancerous cells. He was stumped - I had just had a D&C less than two months previous that should have revealed any cancer. Back to the operating room for another D&C on December 15th.

December 18th, the pathology report came back with the diagnosis: uterine papillary serous cancer, grade 3 cells. This is an uncommon, aggressive form of cancer that acts quite a bit like ovarian cancer. I had a total abominal hysterectomy on January 15th, and am currently awaiting the staging. I'm facing chemotheraphy. The surgeon also found that I had extensive endometriosis - and probably have had this for some time.

I'm still stunned. If I hadn't listened to my body, to my intuition saying there's something more here, I'd be sitting here with a Mirena IUD, and cancer that would be spreading.

Listen to your intuition. Be your own advocate. Gather as much information as you can. Don't take no for an answer.

Getting Late - Rob Thomas

this life keeps moving on
gone away before too long
so tell your friends just how you feel
you'd better say it loud for the world to hear

'cause it's getting late, it's time to go
the paper moon is fading slow
but the night, it keeps moving on
'til it takes you in; it brings you home

while you're watching over the moments that make up your life

it's getting late that's the way it is
you cant deny when it feels like this
and it's strange whats it's bringing out
you're gonna open up, 'cause you cant stop now

it's getting late, you don't know how
you're wide awake, but you're missing out
you get your kicks while you can
then you go to work to pay the man

while you're watching over the moments that make up your life
it's getting late