Hospital Visits

When I had surgery last year, I told friends and family to stay away. I only wanted my husband with me at the hospital. The reasons were perfectly selfish. I didn't want them seeing me out of it, in pain, and grouchy. I also did not want to feel the need to try to entertain anyone.

I know it's comforting for some people to be surrounded by family and friends when sick or hospitalized. I've found that for me it brings out my most polarized form of introversion: I don't want to deal with anyone except the person closest to me.

If this hurts anyone else (like my mom), I am sorry; but at the end of the day, the reason I'm there takes precedence over anyone's feelings except my own. If I'm not comfortable emotionally, I won't be comfortable physically. Ten years ago I could not have stayed strong in the face of all the best intentions of others thinking they needed to be there for me. I would have caved, had people buzzing around, and I would have been even more miserable than I already was.

I'm a little bit different after the "big C" experience than before, and that's not all bad. I'm less likely to put up with the things that bother me. If I don't have any interest in something, I give myself permission to acknowledge that and say no. If I do have a bit of interest but it makes me uncomfortable, I'm more likely to just try it. This last point is harder for me than the first two, I admit!

Do you like having visitors when you're ill? Do you enjoy visiting others when they're sick?

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