We’re all shaped, for good and bad, by our previous employment situations. I had a bad day yesterday - whiny, on edge, and a bit paranoid from the chemo pain - and it left me wondering what type of impact I myself have upon the employees I shepherd.
In the shower this morning, it occurred to me that the worst bosses I’ve had have been the ones that let their personal lives affect work in a hugely negative way. They may have been perfectly qualified to do the work they were hired to do, but their interpersonal skills when it came to employees sucked. For example, I once worked for someone who was very knowledgeable and carried a lot of clout. After working in the company for a month, I lost almost all respect for him. Why? He was having an affair. It was an expected part of our jobs to hide his affair from his wife and children. We were minions to do his bidding, not really considered equals. What he did on his own time was his own business, but the minute he made it mine - and made me compromise my own integrity as a condition of employment - he lost my respect. If any of us had been forcing him to compromise his integrity on the job, he would not have hesitated to fire us. I remember feeling horrible every time I lied to his wife or children, and yet I felt trapped because I needed that job.
Not every situation is black and white, and sometimes you have to choose the lesser evil. What came out of that situation, for me, was a resolve not to place anyone I manage in any situation that would compromise their standards of integrity. I have no way of knowing if I’ve fully succeeded; I sincerely hope I have. If I don’t, I hope I’m called out on it.
